uurrrgghhh

I know, I know, where are the Brugge pictures, I will get round to them, damn you. I need to blog today and thats all there is to it.

Since we've been back Leon has added a new definition to the word clingy and refuses to go to sleep (unless in the pram and it's by accident) unless he's on me, preferably feeding. I've tried restricting the feeding but if last night's anything to go by I am now officially a human pacifier. It was awful, from about 1.30 to 3.30 he'd wake, scream like the world was about to end so I'd go in, he'd go quiet, then start up if not picked up and cuddled. I'd try and cuddle him off to sleep, nope, not having that. So I resort to feeding. This up to now, usually works and that's it for the rest of the night, twice at most. But last night, firstly he was wide awake and laughing, then when I got him to relax he laid there awake in my arms, quite happy. I'd try to put him in the cot and sit there with him, back to the world ending. Mostly at night his cries were a 5 or 7/10 but lately it's 10/10 or nothing.

I tried leaving him to cry in his cot while I sat there, more screams. So I pick him up and try to feed him off to sleep, this starts to work but he's not actually asleep and just wants to feed and feed and feed. I'm starting to feel a bit hollowed out and wish I had a dummy I could sneak in. Which is incidentally what I plan to do tonight. He's not into a dummy but I will persist. I will not be the human pacifier for much longer!

I hope this a phase. I've already started to try to train him to go to sleep again by himself in the cot like he did before the holiday but so far he's still screaming at 10 minutes which up to now is my limit for leaving him to cry. I would go longer but it's the 10/10 variety and not the tired 3/5 variety it usually is. I put him down tired this morning later than normal, it started off like he would stop and go off but at about the 5 minute mark it changed up a gear and he screamed the next 5, it was really hard to just listen and watch the clock. After that he fed briefly and conked out for an hour and a half giving me the opportunity to go back to bed and get some kip as well.

He seems more obsessed with breast feeding than ever now, just as I'm thinking of tailing off.

Yesterday morning we watched a little bit of the tellytubbies before lunch, which Leon enjoyed and in the afternoon, after the library and town etc we went to the park for a good swing. After about half an hour the park completely emptied and it was just us so I took advantage of the climbing bit being 100 mile an hour children free to let Leon have a good cruise. Is it my imagination or does Leon look alot like the baby in the sun in the tellytubbies, two teeth and all.