A week later

It's Monday evening, Reuben is a week old, feeding well, chubbing out nicely and looking around at the world. Leon seems pretty chilled about Reuben, he does have his Dad on tap 24 hours a day so this isn't how it will be once Toby is back to work but at least for a few weeks, I have a chance to work out how to juggle the two of them.
I've just finished my week's worth of anti biotics and I'm healing really well. I'm planning on walking into town with the two of them on Wednesday. I think I'm up to it now. Today and yesterday we walked up past the hospital to the American playground with Leon, it's only a 10 minute walk there, but I think it showed me that I'm pretty much OK to walk further. Worst case scenario I get Toby to give me a lift home.
Night time is still difficult, Reuben doesn't like sleeping in the moses basket and won't settle in it even if I feed him to sleep, he soon wakes up and becomes restless and wriggly. His favorite place to sleep is on the Futon, last night after an hour trying to get him to settle in the moses basket, I put him on Toby's side of the bed. Toby came to bed and he reluctantly went and slept in the spare room on the sofa futon. I felt really guilty but was so tired I couldn't see any other way round it. By morning, Toby said it was wonderful to get a decent night's sleep instead of the last weeks worth of broken sleep with me feeding Reuben through the night. At least he's getting that block of sleep as he's up at 6am with Leon. I catch up by sleeping in until about 9am with Reuben who seems to like the lie in too.
We are considering getting a rocking crib to see if he'll settle in that next to us. Melissa is bringing her cot the end of August, I can't see us with Reuben either in our bed or a moses basket that long and if we find one either on Freecycle or buy one, we can always sell it at the next NCT sale in September.

What day is it?

This week has just flown by, the first couple of days back home were chaos as you can imagine, both of us seemed to leave a trail of half done tasks like trying to empty the dishwasher or put stuff away, answer emails, open post. I knew as much so we haven't really stressed about it.

Here's my account of the last few days, I will go into a bit of detail, partly for my own posterity, it is our blog and for the other mum's out there who might be interested. During active labour, I got a good momentum going with frequent contractions, helped with gas and air. I was upright, sitting or kneeling mainly. The midwife had got my notes from the first time round and read that I'd hemorrhaged the first time and wanted to do a blood test to see if I needed to have a cannula put in in case I needed to be put on a drip afterwards for any reason. Turned out my platelets had dropped (my sick sense of humour wanted to ask if it had anything to do with how much mint choc chip icecream I've consumed in bowls rather than small plates in the past 9 months but I kept quiet). So in went the cannula, ready for whatever would happen next - I think they were already planning a platelet bag. The birth came and went, Reuben was born to Leftfield, Leftism which track, I really can't remember. If he turns out left handed I won't be surprised. I gave birth on my back in the end, I remember roaring like a lion and that my buttocks still ache. It was a lovely calm holding him, he cried quite a bit which seemed really normal, getting those lungs working. Then feeding, it took a while for him to get the idea but he did and fed very well. I got to spend those moments that last time I was busy being jumped on while I hemorrhaged after Leon. This time round I got to witness Reuben as he looked around and came into the world, then the midwife gave me a tour of my placenta, again, I'd missed this with Leon.

I had to have surgery immediately after Reuben's birth, well, the notes say 1st stage - active labour 3hours and 20mins, 2nd stage - the bit when you are allowed to push which with Leon took about 40 mins was 2 minutes!!! so as you can imagine I tore rather badly. My own fault, I pushed and out he came. The 3rd degree tear had to be fixed in theatre under general anaesthetic (I turned down the spinal block - don't like needles in my spine, thankyou). So at 4am, having given birth, successfully breast fed Reuben and had a doze, I was signing a consent form and praying that I woke up again and got to see my son's marry etc. I woke up at 6am with a very dry throat indeed desperate for water but otherwise just a bit groggy. They did a brilliant job and I'm healing really well with very little discomfort at all.

The ward was really quiet, Monday night I'd already had my catheter removed and they were satisfied with my recovery, I went for a pee in about 2am and last time the place was heaving with crying babies and miserable looking women who had just had their children removed from their abdomens, complaining about how their epidurals had made their legs funny. This time there was just 2 of us on the ward. The knock on effect was lots of attention, checks, tests came back quickly and discharge papers, which still take an age, were ready by the following lunchtime. I felt so much more relaxed and happy throughout the whole process.

We got home Tuesday afternoon, I think the first thing I did was put a wash on and get it out on the line. It was a sunny windy day so I knew it would be dry in a couple of hours. Reuben is longer than Leon was and the sleep suits I expected to use are too short so I had to re-visit my 18months worth of baby clothes (only the 0-3m bag) and dig out stuff to use, some of which needed washing.

The first night was long and hard. It was about 25 degrees and a bit too hot, I felt, to swaddle him so he wiggled and wiggled, unable to stop long enough to fall asleep. My milk is only just coming in so he was feeding little and often what he could get and eventually after much deliberation, Toby slept downstairs on the sofa and Reuben had my side of the bed while I could feed him lying down and when he did drop off, move over to the other side of the bed to sleep. This way I didn't have to move Reuben once asleep. I suspect the futon smells of me so he felt more comfortable sleeping on it than in the moses basket too. It worked well and eventually from about 6am to 10am we got a good block of sleep. Poor Tobe was up with Leon about 6am and downstairs with him, playing and watching Cbeebies.

2nd night, I'd washed and dried the grobag swaddling blanket (special shape and light stretchy material, good for hot weather) he peed on while were in hospital so I could swaddle and feed him to sleep which meant he went longer between feeds. He was awake between 4am and 6am when Leon woke up so again, Tob was downstairs with Leon and Reuben and I shared the double bed. 3rd Night was similar. My milk is coming in, I've invested in cold cabbage leaves :) Some of the time I'm simply a human dummy. We have the shop bought variety too but like Leon, I doubt he'll stick with it beyond about 2 months. The baby swing from Tob's parents is brilliant for giving me a free pair of hands. Reuben wont stay in it for long though, usually because he wants his human dummy. I'm doing alot of one handed typing at the moment that's for sure.

I was on my own with the two of them for the first time this afternoon while Tob went to get his hair cut. I managed pretty well, including bringing the washing in before it rained - one handed Reuben in the other.

I need a coffee! (decaf unfortunately, but a coffee none the less.....and chocolate.)

Welcome to the world Reuben

Reuben Donald Jones was born this morning, 23rd June 08, at 1.22am, weighing 7lb 8oz.
Mother and baby are well.



Been quite a long 24h...

Last night, during Dr. Who, Christine's occasional Braxton Hicks turned into contractions, 2-4 minutes apart and getting stronger. Of course we finished watching the episode, then asked my parents to pick up Leon and take him to theirs (he complained but went straight back to sleep).

For this birth we'd decided to play it safe, so I drove Christine down to the Rosie in Cambridge. Odd how I could calmly watch Dr. Who without panicking, but as soon as it was my responsibility to get her there safely and on time I got very purposeful and had to make sure to stick to the speed limit!

Got to the Rosie in good time. No birth pool available, but midwife seemed pleasant - she read through birth plan and asked a few questions, which was really good. Oh, and we'd arrived just as the shift changed, so we knew we'd have her throughout the night, which was a relief.

C was having quite strong contractions, and the TENS machine we borrowed from Sarah was again great. However after a while C knew it would be still a few hours before she gave birth so she gave me 15 min break from my husbandly duties (encouragement and support, mostly) to go for a walk and get something to eat (it was gone 11 by now IIRC)

Well it's a long walk from the Rosie to the food court! By the time I'd got there, got some response from the night staff and waited for my microwave meal to arrive, I'd used up by 15min. I was starting to panic - would they ring me if C went into labour?

Scoffed meal (which was good, actually) and hurried back. Then waited another couple of hours :)

The actual birth was very quick, only a couple of pushes! Possibly too quick as C had to have some stitches. No panic, took them an hour or two to organise (C needed some 'platelets' first), but it had to be under general anasthetic, which was a bit nerve wracking, and which left me 'holding the baby' for an hour. I managed to doze in a chair, but was woken often by Reuben who needed his hand guiding to his mouth for a bit of comfort sucking.

Eventually of course, C was brought back to me, and came to. Now just had to wait to be transferred from 'recovery' to the ward. This took ages to arrange. In the end I came home just before she was moved, as it happened, but the point was that I was there while she needed me.

I got home, found C's book that had vanished last night and got 1h sleep before going to M&D's for a bit of lunch. Then we all went visiting.

Leon's reaction was very interesting. Part of the time he ignored Reuben and just pushed his pushchair through the ward, part of the time he seemed to want to keep a good distance, thank you very much... but mum gave him some Night Garden dolls (which he loved) and at one point he put them in Reuben's cot. So what the next few weeks have in store regarding sibling rivalry, we can't guess.

After M&D&L left, I stayed by C's side, more just to be there than anything, but actually I was more useful than before the birth - getting water/food, tidying up, changing Reuben etc. But when I realised I was dropping off in the chair next to her bed, I decided I better drive back while it was still light and came home.

Home being a couple of beers, a pizza, upload photos and write a bit of blog :)

And all the above having been achieved, I'm off for a good sleep! Night all :)

In the family

Definite family likeness here don't you think? Leon and my Dad that is. It's in the smile.

I'm a week over due with newbie now, having twinges and pre labour tightenings. I had a 'show' this morning for those who know what that means. Still, could be a few days yet. I've got an appointment with the Midwife for Monday if nothing has happened over the weekend.

Tob stocked up with lots of nice food today, him and Leon went into town this morning while I had a nice bath. Tob made spinach and cream cheese pancakes for lunch, much to my delight and Leon's who to our surprise eats spinach, onion and tomato if well flavoured. This does set him apart from my Dad who doesn't like any leafy green veg.

Leon is very partial to pork pies, just like his dad and both granddads :)

For those wanting a picture of the bump

This is me in all my enormousness taken at the weekend. I went out Friday night which involved going to the hairdressers Friday morning and doing me makeup etc so I thought I'd take advantage of the occasion and take some pics. Big belly!

Due on Saturday, nothing yet, just hot weather

Hot Hot Hot, I will try not to moan too much, the washing is a doddle - dries in an afternoon and it's nice to go round in a floppy hat and sunglasses. I do feel a bit like a big fat sweaty walrus at times though, and that's just my temperament. Newbie is still wriggling round my middle like something out of Alien. Likely very comfortable for the time being.

Photos are from the picnic on Saturday in the rain (with friends and their sprogs, all Leon's age), some lovely one's taken by M&D in Toby's alphabet shirt - yes, the shirt was once Toby's. And today in the garden playing with sand at M&D's after swimming. He got covered in sand, well he would! Naked apart from a shirt and hat so I hosed him down, much to his delight, before replacing miraculously still clean and dry clothes when it came to coming home for tea. He goes mad for a hosepipe! Bit like a dog :)

Today, now I'm up to date

I'm just about to start Leon's bedtime routine, it's Tuesday, we had swimming today, which as usual went well. Ellen is much more confident in the water now with Leon during the lessons - she's kindly agreed to take Leon while I'm recovering from giving birth. I bought him a tummy band today so with his arm bands he's pretty much swimming by himself anyway. The biggest problem is making sure he doesn't slip up on the side, in the water, he's a force to be reckoned with. Today I noticed his feet were closer to the surface while he swam, so his body is flatter, rather than cycling his legs, semi upright.

Words are coming on too, we have 'up' 'down' 'door' ' cake' 'yogurt (go got)' 'daddy' 'da (grandad)' 'mama' 'water' 'ta (thank you)' 'car' 'bus' 'bath' 'nana' and perhaps a few more coming on. Frustrations involve mainly screams and he doesn't ask for anything like a drink, just comes over and whinges until I get up. I've got him out of his sleeping bag the last couple of nights and under a blanket/duvet in preparation for going into a normal bed, so far, he's sleeping better, if anything, it has been mild so this is the right time of year to try this that's for sure. He won't go into a normal bed until he's done a few sleeps in the bed during the day, and then probably after Newbie is born.

I feel fine, a week and a half to go to due date, I do get tired and get back ache but mostly by pacing myself things are fine. Leon is dragging me upstairs now so that will be it for now.

Saturday 1st June 10.20am

Exactly a fortnight to go! It's all coming up fast now. Feeling good in myself, his room is ready and apart from getting the car seat for him into the car, we are pretty much ready. I'm getting lots of braxton hicks and plenty of movement, it could be any time really. Tobe's going to start driving to work so he could meet me in Cambridge, if needed. It's a beautiful day to day, likely to be the best day for the next week weather wise, I did have to remind myself when faced with the thought 'bugger, there's nothing to wash and stick out in the garden to dry' that there is more to life than washing clothes on a fine day. My gosh what parenthood does to you.
With any luck, we are off to Cambridge today, leaving Leon with M&D so we can get Tobe some new shoes among other things.
Leon is mostly lovely apart from the odd scream caused by teething a the moment, poor thing, his molars are coming through quite fast now and even though he's mostly OK with it, you can tell that they hurt on and off. We are getting more words now, even Mummy occasionally.
Earlier this week, Wednesday morning, I finally got to meet my new Community Midwife, I rang her Tuesday to say that as I was as far as I was and hadn't discussed a birth plan with her and that the gap between check ups was more like 3 1/2 weeks instead of 2 I ought to have a house visit which duly happened the following day. Now we have birth plan sorted, I've been checked out, Newbie is lying to the left, head down and un-engaged (the head 'engages' just before birth with the 2nd whereas with the 1st this happens earlier and stays put usually until birth. With subsequent kids the head can pop in and out a lot in the last few weeks before going into Labour) , which is pretty much as good as it gets so all OK. He's the right size and judging by the amount of kicking and wriggling, he's pretty happy for the time being. My blood pressure is bang on and she even said that the bits of cycling I'm doing are also good for getting him into position whereas driving is bad for positioning so all the people commenting on me cycling in 'my condition' like I'm sky diving can go get their facts straight and get their heads out of the modern age. Having said that, I have started accepting lifts from M&D more and more, at this point in the pregnancy, I'm not too proud to get driven around a bit. Yesterday, Dan picked Leon up in the morning, giving me time to do some house work, then an hour's snooze. He came back at midday to pick me up and take me to theirs for lunch. We had a lovely lunch, then I took Leon up the road to the Mum's and now Dad's friday afternoon coffee and kiddie free for all (I did last weeks, this week it was Sarah's turn). We all sat out in the garden. Mike brought Hattie and Janek's Dad whose name now escapes me were there so we had 2 Dads too which was a breakthrough. Mike even made chocolate fairy cakes for the first time in his life (so he claims).

Tuesday 27th May 2008 11.20am - The house has been warmed.

Feeling like a snooze, Leon's just about asleep by now I think, it seems to have gone quiet, he should get about an hour's sleep before swimming this afternoon. I think I'll join him. The end of this week I'll be 38 weeks, the midwife is coming round tomorrow to discuss the birth plan and check me out to see how things are. I realised last week that what with moving and a change of midwife halfway through, that I was completely behind with checks etc. Newbie is moving around a lot and I'm getting bigger, so I'm not worried in the slightest, worth getting things up to date though.
We had the house-warming at the weekend which was wet and a bit cold but apart from that a brilliant success, we gauged the food pretty much perfectly and apart from having quite a lot of fizzy drinks left (would have been drunk, no doubt with warmer weather) everything went. I intend to hold another couple later in the year to welcome Newbie and maybe for our wedding anniversary so the unopened fizzy and beer will be fine. At a guess I estimated between 40 and 50 people came in total, some had gone before others arrived, some stayed from midday till evening, others just an hour or so so it was a good mixture, if a little crowded inside, especially with 8 sprogs under 4 in the house.
The house seemed to be thoroughly warmed through and a lot of people complemented us on the house saying it was really lovely and looked like we'd settled in well, which we most certainly have.
We will no doubt do some decorating next year, I'd like to re-do Leon's room when they start to share the room, next year, for example. For now, we need to save up for a new boiler, the old one is very old, it's been checked and should go for a while longer but if anything, that should be the thing to do first.
Michelle, Dan and Ellen were great and provided us with some help sorting out food, putting up the gazebo in the rain and clearing up during and after the party. Dan and Ellen also gave us a house-warming prezzie – the same Camera they've got! It's a Canon Ixus 70, which is a 7megapixel digital camera. Considering how often we borrow theirs it is the perfect present, especially with Newbie imminent.
I think I'm going to take that snooze now...